true story: No Way Jose
A businessman walks out of a hip Midtown Manhattan Hotel and asks the doorman for a cab. The doorman flags the next available cab who zooms up to the door.
DOORMAN
You're the lucky number.
CABBIE
(laughing giddily)
I'm lucky! You're right you know. I'm lucky!
DOORMAN
Here you go sir.
BUSINESSMAN
Thanks.
Handing the doorman a five, he gets in the cab.
CABBIE
Where to friend?
BUSINESSMAN
LaGuardia.
CABBIE
I think I love you already my friend. What airline?
They drive on, heading uptown for the Triborough bridge. The driver goes on, speaking in a thick Dominican accent.
BUSINESSMAN
I'm on Northwest.
CABBIE
You're going home.
BUSINESSMAN
No, actually I'm going to Minneapolis. Home's LA.
CABBIE
I mean you look ready to go home. Papa you look like you're ready.
BUSINESSMAN
Maybe so.
CABBIE
I'm going to tell you my name and you need to remember it. Okay?
BUSINESSMAN
Okay.
CABBIE
It's No Way Jose. No...Way...Jose. Got it?
BUSINESSMAN
Got It.
JOSE
You'll see me again, you will, so remember my name. What's your name anyway?
BUSINESSMAN
It's Chris.
JOSE
Of course it is. Of course. Chris...I love you.
CHRIS
Thanks.
JOSE
I mean, I know people think of it in a certain way, like sexy and kissing, but there's different kinds of love – like I love all people who are kind. There's enough room in this world for all kinds of people. All kinds, whatever you want to be. As long as you're kind, I love you.
CHRIS
I get it.
JOSE
You know this woman came up to me today and she's got a camera and she says "Sir, have you been smoking pot?" I thought it was a joke, but she was serious so I got mad and I said. "Look you motherfucker, how do you fucking come up to me like that. Do you see my cab license, do you see this bible here? You better not fucking say things like that. You're the one who's been smoking saying things to people like that. You're so stoned you don't even know the difference." I shouldn't have, but sometimes I just get mad when people aren't kind.
CHRIS
Why did she have a camera?
JOSE
I don't know, like some people are crazy. Papa I'm crazy but I know it. I'm completely crazy, so I'm sane. I had this psychiatrist in my car the other day and he said "Jose, I spend years trying to get people to realize they're crazy. And once they do, they're cured."
CHRIS
Pretty funny.
JOSE
Yeah so I'm crazy. I say it. So I'm sane. Did you ever notice how crazy people get mad when you call them crazy? They get mad. Why do you think?
CHRIS
I'm not sure. Maybe they don't know they're crazy.
JOSE
Maybe. Cause you call them crazy and they get mad. Like me. I'm crazy and I say it. You look at me and you see a cab driver, but I'm not a cab driver, I'm a child of God. Papa we're all children of God, you get it.
CHRIS
I get it.
JOSE
See we've got so much inside us, like this computer up here
(points to his head)
We use only a little bit, but there was a man who used more of it and he went to the cave of Zacharias and said "Zacharias. Rise and come forth." He was dead for three days Papa! This guy. Three days! And he said "Zacharias. Rise and come forth." And he did. He did it with his head. So powerful.
CHRIS
You mean Jesus.
JOSE
Do you believe you can change your destiny Chris?
CHRIS
Well no, I guess not. I believe you have free will to make decisions, but who's to say that if you changed your life completely tomorrow and you weren't a cab driver anymore that it wasn't your destiny to change your life.
JOSE
You're right Chris. Cause it's not up to you, it's up to God. You see a cab driver, but I'm not a cab driver. Do you remember my name?
CHRIS
No way Jose.
JOSE
No Way Jose. You're a smart guy Chris. I know this. You think it's a joke, but you'll see me again and when you do you know what you're gonna say? You're gonna say "No Way!" You will, cause you won't believe it.
CHRIS
Okay. Sure.
JOSE
Let me tell you Chris, you've been so blessed by God. Amazing. I can see it.
CHRIS
I have. I'm always thankful for the gifts I've been given.
JOSE
I know you have been. And you know what? You're going home. You've been blessed and now god says it's time to come home. And it won't be years Chris or months, it's days. So make your peace with this world cause you're going home. I'm so happy for you Chris.
CHRIS
Uh. Thanks.
JOSE
God loves you so much and has blessed you so much and now he wants to wrap you up in his arms and rock you to sleep. And he sent me to tell you. You'll see me again. No Way Jose.
The entire exchange in a rear view mirror while speeding through New York traffic and suddenly, they're at the terminal. The businessman gets out. The cabbie helps him with his bags. They shake hands.
JOSE
It was a pleasure to finally meet you. I'll see you soon.
CHRIS
Thanks for the conversation. Bye.
JOSE
I love you.
CHRIS
I love you too.
© 2010 Chris Lowery
